Monday, November 3, 2008

Childbirth Class #2: I've been CAUGHT

[My apologies for this post being really delayed, but moving everything out of Baby Henig's future room entailed unplugging the computer, and we just got that bad boy up and running last night!]

The 2nd installment of childbirth class was something I can say I will never forget. I usually pride myself on being a pretty darn good prankster, very sneaky; always able to 'get' and not be 'gotten'. But not on this particular Tuesday night, thanks to the open door policy of the world wide web.

After settling into class, and removing my jacket (keeping on my scarf was a must, it was about 35 degress outside), we all took the same seats as we did last week. Right as class was getting started, Mary Jane walked over to me, put her hand on my knee, and jutting her head toward our friends sitting beside us whispered "I think that's Ms. Air Force sitting next to you". My face turned SO RED--how did she know I nicknamed her that?!?!?! Nothing was coming together in my head, and everything got fuzzy--I suddenly had to remove my scarf as Mary Jane backed away, smirk on her face. Then it hit me--I'VE BEEN CAUGHT. Somehow, I didn't know how, my instructor had found my blog and taken great pride in reading my report on her first class. OH.MY.GOSH.

I mouthed "How did you know about that?!?" and she replied with "Oh, I know everything" : A statement I never doubted. She then tapped her scrub pocket and said "I've got it all right here..." Britton looked at me with the widest eyes I've ever seen and said "Oh, she's got your number..." A thousand thoughts went racing through my head...."Is she going to read this out loud?" "Am I about to be the first person in history to be kicked out of childbirth class?" "Oh my gosh...WHAT DID I WRITE?????"

Class continued as usual, and I'm pretty sure this episode was doing wonders for my heart. It was beating so hard, I just knew my blood pressure was back to normal!

This week we learned about what false labor is, and when it's appropriate to call in to the doctor. Mary Jane informed us that if you are in any way giggling while talking to the on-call OB at 3 am while saying "Um...Dr. So-and-So, I think I'm in labor! tee-hee", then you are most definitely not in labor. I wrote that down....Also, don't get your husband to call in regards to his wife's shooting pains, as they will always want to talk to the pregnant woman. This should not be a problem for us as I'm pretty sure by the time I'm having labor pains, Britton will already be feeling woozy and light-headed.

We also watched...gulp...a video about labor pains. And thank the Lord above, it was strictly educational as it followed 3 couples through their pregnancies and into counting contractions. One of the couples did our state proud. As they showed them in their bedroom, the husband sat up from under the covers to reveal an Alabama Crimson Tide t-shirt. This was the part in the video that told us that sleeping can be difficult to impossible (awesome, I already can't sleep) during the beginning stages of labor. The next scene showed that our Roll Tide fan had not gotten up to get his wife a heating pad or a glass of water, but had strategically gotten HER to move to the couch as he enjoyed having the master suite all to himself. Roll Tide, Roll.

During our break Britton, Mary Jane and I had a good laugh about how she had all but scared the baby right out of me. She was so proud of her mad skills in making me sweat, and I told her I aspired to be able to prank like she had. That is a true talent. It was really and truly one of the funniest things that has ever happened to me.

To end class, we sit on the floor with our husbands and practice our breathing. Of course, this is when the massage starts and the part of my week I look most forward to. We also learned a stretch for our back that in yoga is otherwise known as the "Cat and Cow":
This stretch begins as you arch your back up (like a cat), and then slowly back down(like a cow). It feels AMAZING.
The husbands were instructed to kneel beside us, and Mary Jane walked around to make sure everyone knew how to do it. All of a sudden, as she was walking around, I believe she came across a young man who may have been kneeling behind his wife in a very...ahem...suggestive position. We all of sudden heard "WHAT ARE YOU DOING???? Get back over to the side of her! That's what got you in here to start with!" I was in tears.

All in all, an unforgetttable class it was. I look forward to this week as we have our hospital tour of labor and delivery and get to see all that goes into checking in and getting settled for when baby comes. And since we've already had 2 nice trips up there, we may help lead the class!


Abby said...

That is hysterical!!! I'm glad MJ didn't read it out loud. I went back to see what you said about1000 her. Whew! That was a close one!! did she find it?

Abby said...

Sorry about the random numbers in my comment. Hannah was "tryin' to help me". =)