Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Childbirth Class # 4: The Video

It happened. What we've all been waiting for. Mary Jane gave us until class 4 to get good and settled in, used to phrases like "mucos plug" and "effacement" before she showed us the video.
Before we saw some crotches, we had 2 of the funniest Dads-to-be strap on the empathy belly. One was made to lay completely down on the floor as if he were in bed. Mary Jane then acted as his alarm clock, and told him it was time to get up and go to work. This was a task that proved too difficult for Gerald. He literally cried uncle--"OK! I'm empathetic! I promise! Please!!" He was dying to be unstrapped. Hysterical.
The lesson was on pain managment, something I got out my pen to take notes on. One thing I know for sure is that if they could, say, numb my entire body that would be grrrrreat. We learned there there are 2 crazy Momma's in the class that want to give it a go sans-anesthesia. These ladies are my personal heroes. I plan to learn the birthday and kids names of my anesthesiologist in hopes he'll push a few more cc's of whatever he's got in that needle, if you know what I'm saying.
I will say that learning the in's and out's of administering an epidural was extremely helpful. Knowing what to expect, and when to expect it is something that every first time Mom should be made aware of. I also thought that the moment you grace your labor and delivery room, that they could shoot you up, but my dreams were crushed when I learned the above statement is not true.
Then came the video. It started out pretty nice, following 2 women--one of which had their epidural and one of which chose to be my hero and be able to actually wiggle her toes. I could have gone without seeing the real-life threading of a tube into a woman's spine, and I'm pretty sure Britton was looking at the floor on that part. BUT, again--good to know.
Then, there they were, laboring along and....GOTCHA! (as Mary Jane says) Not one but 2 crotch shots. And the funniest was the 2nd, where the husband was down "there" in a wife beater and jeans, ready to catch the baby himself. Yeah right, Bubba!
All in all, the video was not quite as bad as I had imagined. But I do think I am now prepared for my pain management. Two things I know after this class are:
1) The epidural is your friend
2) Don't let a man in a wife beater try to deliver your baby

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